


these rabbit-eared apple slices in your cool, tender hands

by yoonminoml (fanficloverme96)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Introspection, Self-Doubt, Sickfic, hints of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/yoonminoml
Summary: Haruka hesitates to ask, but his lips are already moving.“Did he promise you the same thing?” Haruka lifts his head to look at Tenn again. “Is that how you became his son? Because you showed so much talent and worth?”Because your light is bright and worthy, unlike my own flickering, dying flame?
Relationships: Isumi Haruka & Kujou Ten
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	these rabbit-eared apple slices in your cool, tender hands

There is one person in Haruka’s life, whose light shines so brightly that as much as he wants to step towards it, he couldn’t help but to recoil after every step he takes. 

How long had they been filming? Haruka couldn’t really be sure. Surely for more than a couple of hours by now, right? 

Torao is laughing at something the host is saying. Beside him, Minami is all charming smiles and nodding along to Torao’s antics. Touma is waving his arms wildly, probably adding his own points to Torao’s exciting and probably untrue story.

Sitting on the opposite sofa, is TRIGGER. 

They’re perfect and prim as always. There isn’t really any other way to describe the trio that is TRIGGER. With Gaku’s commanding but steady presence, Ryuu’s genuine charm, and Tenn’s flawless ability to draw people in, it’s hard not to focus on TRIGGER whenever they’re around. Even as the host listens attentively to Torao, one comment from Tenn has everyone turning towards him, and that action had seemed so effortless.

His teammates have that ability, too. They’re so different and yet they go so well. Tsukumo Ryo may be questionable in everything else, but forming ZOOL is most probably one of the greatest things he’s done. Even when he’s no longer their CEO and is now on a temporary hiatus serving his sentence after his whole debacle with Re:Vale, ZOOL continues to carry forward. Their group dynamic draws people in, so much that there is barely a single day where they won’t get at least one love call.

Despite everything, his group is doing well. Haruka should be happy. He should be proud at how far he’s gotten on his own two feet.

And yet, why is it when Haruka looks at Tenn sitting in front of him, looking pretty and charming and so _natural_ at what he’s doing, there is something indescribable blooming in his chest?

That, and the room is spinning. Why is the room spinning?

He answers a second too late to a question, and while this went unnoticed by the host, he feels a steady hand on his thigh. He turns his head discreetly to the side and finds Minami looking at him with a certain look in his eye.

_Are you okay?,_ he mouths.

Haruka nods. Of course, he is. Never better.

Yet as the filming continues, the room continues to spin and tilt a little and it takes every ounce of his strength to not sink into his seat, allowing his body to just crumble into itself.

All the while, the feeling in his chest whenever he meets the eyes of one Kujou Tenn doesn’t fade, just like his dizziness.

By the time the filming finally ends, Haruka is barely able to walk himself down the hallway towards the green room.

His other members are currently crowding the refreshment table for some food, and Haruka had taken that opportunity to quietly slip away. His head is still spinning and he feels a little hot. His legs feel unsteady as he forces himself to move forward.

What is happening to him? How strange.

“Isumi Haruka?”

Haruka stops in his tracks. The sudden movement is causing his head to spin again and he braces one hand against the wall out of reflex. He’s suddenly very tired and it takes a lot of effort for him to just turn around to address the person behind him.

“Kujou Tenn?” Haruka says, “What is it?”

He realizes too late that he’s squinting. Tenn seems really blurry in front of him, no matter how many times he blinks to clear his vision away. In fact, the more he blinks, the more blurry his vision becomes. By the time Tenn is nothing but a blurry shape in front of him, he feels cool hands on his shoulders. Someone is frantically calling out his name.

“Isumi Haruka! Get a hold of yourself!” There is a muttered curse. “Someone, help! Isumi-san collapsed!”

Him...collapsed? That couldn’t be. He’s fine. He’s as healthy as a -

Before he could even finish that sentence, Haruka’s body falls fully onto the ground and if it wasn’t for Tenn’s arms around him, it would have really hurt if his head slams against the hard floor.

Haruka hasn’t had a lucid dream in a long while. He barely remembers his dreams to begin with, if he even dreams at all.

Yet when he opens his eyes and sees a younger version of himself standing in a familiar-looking practice room, he instantly knows that he is dreaming, and that reaching out towards the younger him would not do anything. Instead, he just stands there as he watches himself go through the events that changed his life.

And not even for the better.

“What will you do now?” he hears Kujou ask him, “You can continue your lessons but you won’t ever succeed.”

“W-wait, Kujou-san, I -”

Haruka hears that familiar pleading and begging. He sees the desperation on his own face. And the coldness of Kujou’s eyes that stare back at him. Haruka remains rooted to the spot, unable to move. This is a lucid dream, but he can’t control it. Or rather, he’s too scared to.

What happens if he screams? What happens if he tries to stop Kujou from leaving him? What if somehow, through this lucid dream, he could change the past and shape it the way he wants to? Haruka’s mouth is already opening -

“You silly child.”

Kujou Takamasa is not looking at the younger version of himself. Instead, he’s looking right at Haruka.

“There’s no use trying to change anything,” Kujou says with a cold, wry smile, “Haruka, you’ll always be a disappointment. No matter how well you think you’re doing.”

“Kujou-san -”

“Your heart is too twisted, too stained with darkness, to become a source of light to your fans.”

_You’re wrong_. Is what he wants to say, but Haruka’s voice won’t come out from his throat. It’s like the words are locked in his throat and all he could do is watch Kujou leave through the door. There is someone holding his right hand. A young boy, with hair in the softest shade of pink -

“Come, my beloved son,” Kujou murmurs, “Tenn.”

He wakes up instantly knowing he’s not in his room.

It’s not hard to figure out - there is a strong smell of medicine that tickles his nose and makes him furrow his brows as he groans awake. He lifts one hand, which feels as heavy as lead, and shouldn’t be surprised to see an IV drip attached to it. Yet here he is, surprised. 

Haruka sees the white ceiling above him next, then the pale blue sofa backed up against the wall and then the soft green of his hospital gown. He sees the dark brown door and the deep red carpet underneath the coffee table and the royal blue of the curtains pulled aside to let sunlight stream into the room.

Then finally, his eyes land on a soft shade of pink, followed by a deeper shade of violet before his gaze finally settles on a pair of lips, pulled into a thin line.

Haruka tries not to be surprised to see Kujou Tenn standing by his bedside - he’s probably the one who had Haruka sent to the hospital in the first place - but he couldn’t help but to be.

Haruka could count on one hand the times he’s personally alone with Kujou Tenn, with the hospital being the most unlikely of all places for them to meet.

Kujou Tenn’s lips are moving. He’s speaking to him.

“Stress and lack of nutrition,” he says, “That’s what the doctors told me when I asked.”

“Huh?” Haruka says, perhaps a little dumbly.

Tenn sighs. “You’re an idol. You should know that aside from the fans, taking care of your health is your top priority. You’re lucky you didn’t collapse when you were filming.”

“...Huh?” Haruka says again, sounding a little dumber now. His ears hear the words but his mind couldn’t quite process them fast enough. Kujou Tenn is scolding him, that much is certain. Haruka isn’t sure if he’s pleased to be scolded the moment he woke up.

“You have a fever,” Tenn finally says with another sigh, “Your bandmates sent you to the hospital after I called one of them over. Natsume Minami, was it? At least I can be rest assured that at least _one_ of you is reliable.”

“Shut up,” Haruka blurts out, “Don’t be a hypocrite. I know you worked yourself half to death sometimes too.”

Despite his bristling, Tenn doesn’t seem to be too bothered by Haruka’s words. Perhaps he’s too used to by now. Aside from the one time Haruka had meekly apologized to him before the events of Black or White, all the words Haruka had said to him were harsh and agitated. Tenn’s probably learned to tune them out by now.

Sometimes Haruka wishes he could do the same thing to his own thoughts.

“I won’t deny that,” Tenn answers with a hint of a smile, “I guess both of us need to learn that lesson, huh?”

Haruka blinks, unsure of what to say to that. He’s still not used to Tenn speaking nicely to him like this - this newfound civility is honestly a little off-putting. Haruka clenches his fist. No, Tenn has _always_ been civil to him, no matter how angry Haruka had gotten.

Haruka’s the one who could learn how to speak a little nicely.

“Idiot,” he ends up muttering. He sits up on the mattress, wincing a little when his head starts to pound slightly at the movement. Oh right. He’s sick. 

“You don’t need to get up,” Tenn says, “Just lie down and rest.”

Haruka sinks back against the pillow, too tired to argue. He must be sicker than he thought. He can’t remember the last time he’s this exhausted. There is a sound of a chair scraping against the floor and when Haruka turns his head, he sees Tenn now seated beside him, one leg crossed over the other. Strange, why is he still here?

“Can’t I visit my fellow colleague?” Tenn says, sounding amused.

Crap, Haruka must have asked that question out loud.

“I’m fine,” Haruka insists, “If you’re here just to make sure of that, you can rest easy now. There’s no reason for you to stay.”

It’s not like they’re close to begin with.

“True,” Tenn says, still amused, “But you’re younger than me and you gave me quite a scare when you suddenly collapsed. I’d like to think I’m allowed to worry.”

Haruka clamps his mouth shut, his cheeks reddening. He really should stop voicing his thoughts out loud.

“It’s strange coming from you,” Haruka admits.

Tenn raises a single eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“After what I’ve done to you and your group...I don’t know why you’d stick around for someone like me,” Haruka mutters, dropping his gaze to his blanket. 

He lifts his gaze again when he hears a thoughtful hum. Tenn doesn’t look angry or upset at the memory - the memory of ZOOL being partly responsible for TRIGGER’s momentary downfall. Haruka personally finds it strange that he doesn’t because that memory still brings a bitter taste to Haruka’s mouth and he’s the driving force behind that unpleasant memory in the first place.

“Well, you apologized,” Tenn says at last, “While I can’t forgive you just yet, it’s clear that you’re reflecting. I should acknowledge that, at the very least.” 

It’s almost hilarious how much Haruka flinched when Tenn suddenly reaches over to pat him on the head, scrambling back that Haruka nearly falls off the mattress entirely.

“W-what are you doing?” he stammers.

“Oh, sorry. That was a bit sudden, wasn’t it?”

“Y-you think?”

“I used to do it to Riku when he’s upset,” Tenn explains, “I suppose old habits die hard. I apologize. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“It’s not t-that…” Haruka gets back into a proper sitting position on the bed. He could still feel the ghost of Tenn’s touch on his hair. He fights back his blush of embarrassment with a huff and a cross of his arms. “A little warning would have been nice.”

“Oh, so you don’t mind a head pat?”

“I d-didn’t say that! Ah!” Haruka gives another huff. “If you’re here just to tease me, you can go now.”

“Now, now. Don’t be angry. That frown will be permanent.” Despite his playful tone, Tenn respectfully doesn’t try to tease him any further. “In any case, you’re right. I should let you rest. I think your members might want to visit you soon after their schedule is done.”

“You’re leaving?” 

Tenn is already rising from the chair. “I probably should. You’re still sick, after all. Well then, I’ll get going -,”

“Wait!” Haruka blurts out before he could stop himself. “Wait, I…”

Tenn raises an eyebrow again. “What is it?”

Haruka drops his gaze to the mattress, his cheeks burning again as he forces the words out. “I...It’ll get boring being here by myself and my members’ schedule won’t end until late so…” He clenches his fists. “I…” He swallows. “I don’t mind a little company.”

There is a pause.

Haruka hears a chuckle.

“You’re cute when you’re honest like this, Isumi Haruka.”

“S-shut up!”

Despite him asking Tenn to stay, Haruka honestly finds himself at loss for words to say to the boy. 

Tenn busies himself by cutting apples on the bedside table - Haruka didn’t even realize Tenn brought fruits until he heard the sound of rustling plastic before Tenn produced the apple in front of him like some childish magic trick. Haruka watches in silence as Tenn cuts rabbit ears into the apple slices before placing them carefully onto the plate.

He offers one slice to Haruka, to which Haruka takes with some hesitation.

“Riku likes his apple slices this way,” Tenn says.

“Old habits die hard,” Haruka repeats.

“Old habits die hard,” Tenn agrees with a soft smile.

As Haruka chews on his apple slice, he can’t help but realize how _domestic_ this feels. Tenn just idly cutting him apple slices and feeding him as if he wasn’t the person who ruined his life just barely several months ago. It’s not just that either. When the nurse came to check up on him a moment ago, Tenn had stepped back and watched the entire thing with an incomprehensible expression, even lingering around just to hear what the nurse said.

It’s like it’s something Tenn’s used to.

He takes another bite of his apple. Then again, Tenn had mentioned Riku twice now and he heard rumors that the IDOLiSH7 centre wasn’t always this healthy…

“Did...you used to do this to Nanase-san a lot?”

“Judging from your question, you must have some kind of idea about Riku,” Tenn guesses calmly.

“I heard rumors,” Haruka mutters, “Are they not rumors then?”

Tenn sighs. “Well, it’s not really a secret. The staff needs to know about his condition anyway so they can make sure he doesn’t overwork himself.” He puts down his knife and takes a slice in his hand. “Riku’s a lot stronger and healthier now, but that wasn’t always the case when he was younger. He spent a lot of his days in and out of the hospital and didn’t have the chance to have a normal childhood because of it.” 

Tenn takes a bite of the apple, chewing on it thoughtfully before swallowing it and continuing to speak. “Our parents were busy so I took care of him a lot. I guess some things have become muscle memory for me by now.”

Like the head pat. The rabbit-eared apple slices. The hovering when the nurse came in.

“Do I remind you of him?” Haruka asks, “Your little brother?”

The corner of Tenn lifts into a tiny smile. “Perhaps.”

Something warm blooms inside Haruka’s chest and he ducks his head before Tenn could see the forming blush on his cheeks. Dammit, why is his heart beating so fast all of a sudden? 

“Riku was definitely better behaved than you are, though,” Tenn teases, “If you’re my little brother, you’re definitely a handful.”

“S-shut up!”

Tenn chuckles, moving to sit next Haruka’s bedside again. It’s strange how Haruka barely notices his fever with Tenn keeping him company like this. It feels...nice somehow to be able to talk to him somewhat normally after all his previous failed attempts to strike up a conversation without becoming a stuttering nervous wreck.

That warm feeling in his chest is now a steady glow, unlike the hot spikes it used to be in the past whenever he meets the eyes of Kujou Tenn. His heart still beats a little faster than he would have liked, but it’s no longer a painful thing.

“Do you have any siblings of your own?” Tenn asks.

Haruka shakes his head. “I’m the only child.”

“I heard your grandmother raised you. Am I right?”

“Mmph,” Haruka answers, “My parents died when I was really young, so she’s all I have.”

“She must be a strong woman,” Tenn says with a gentle smile.

The mention of his grandmother brings a smile of his own to Haruka’s face. “She is. She tries her very best to support me so I want to give something to her in return. I used to volunteer as a church choir member when I was younger, you know. To earn some money to help Grandma.”

“Heh...You as a church boy, huh? That oddly suits you.”

“What do you mean ‘oddly’?” Haruka says with another huff, “I’ll have you know, I was very good at what I did. In fact, that was how Kujou-san scouted me -,”

The mention of that man’s name surprises Haruka, considering it came from _his_ lips. He trails off awkwardly, falling silent again. 

Beside him, Tenn seems to have finished eating his apple slice.

“I heard Kujou-san found you when you were pretty young. So it was then, huh?” Tenn asks softly.

Haruka clenches his fist. Though he’s come to terms with most things about that man, his relationship with Kujou Takamasa is still a touchy subject to some extent. He breathes out heavily before nodding.

“He told me if I was talented enough, he’ll adopt me,” he mumbles, “Turn me into a successful idol.”

“I see.”

“...”

Haruka hesitates to ask, but his lips are already moving.

“Did he promise you the same thing?” Haruka lifts his head to look at Tenn again. “Is that how you became his son? Because you showed so much talent and worth?”

_Because your light is bright and worthy, unlike my own flickering, dying flame?_

He tries not to sound bitter about it, because he wants to think he’s over everything and he’s happier and at peace with himself now, but the question comes out more resentful than he wanted it to be. Bitter memories are still bitter, no matter how many happy memories he has now.

Tenn, to his credit, doesn’t seem to mind the tone of Haruka’s voice. 

“He was definitely interested in me for a while,” Tenn replies calmly, “He didn’t make the same promise as he did with you, though. Even if he did, I wouldn’t have been interested. I don’t need a new father.”

Haruka blinks in surprise. “Then why did you go with him?”

Tenn answers him by silently handing him another apple slice. He takes one of his own after Haruka accepts, but he doesn’t eat it. Instead, he traces the shape of the rabbit ears with a faraway expression. For a moment, Haruka thinks he’s become unreachable again, just as he was the first time Haruka knew about him. 

“I was desperate.”

Haruka blinks again. “For what?”

“For a chance of normalcy...a chance I want to give to that child.”

Haruka doesn’t need to ask who Tenn meant by ‘that child’. It isn’t hard to guess, judging from the gentle way he traces the rabbit ears - the same gentleness he used to pat Haruka’s hair and to talk about his younger twin brother.

If Tenn’s talking about desperation...it’s a feeling Haruka knows all too well.

“I wanted something too,” he says quietly, “More than a chance to become an idol, I wanted...something else from Kujou.”

“What was it?”

“His acknowledgement.” Haruka bites his bottom lip, a familiar ache returning to his chest at the memory of that day, “To tell me that I did well and that he’s proud of me.”

“...”

Haruka doesn’t expect Tenn to know what to say to him in return. In truth, he wouldn’t know what to say to himself either. To say of those words he’s buried inside his heart feels liberating - but it also leaves him vulnerable and being vulnerable is one of the scariest feelings to him. 

He sneaks a look at Tenn. Now, if there is only one more thing in his heart he could say out loud…

Tenn is speaking again, his voice a quiet breath. “I never told you this before but… I really am sorry you had to go through that. I...never agreed with Kujou-san’s decision to leave you like that, especially when you were in a situation where you would have depended greatly on him. It wasn’t...it wasn’t nice of him.”

Haruka lets out a bitter chuckle. “Kujou isn’t a nice person in general. Or at least, his kindness is rarely without a price.”

“But still,” he continues, “Even after I learned that, I still...I still wanted to hear those words, you know. He doesn’t have to adopt me. I know I couldn’t fulfill his expectations and I give up trying to. But at the very least, I want him to acknowledge that at one point...I wasn’t a disappointment in his eyes.”

“Do you hate him?” Tenn asks quietly.

“...No.” 

“...Do you still hate me?”

“I...I never hated you,” Haruka confesses softly, “Rather than hate...it was more that I envied you.” The apple slice is cool in his hand, and his thumb brushes against the tiny gap between the rabbit ears. “You’re always… You’re always shining so brightly. Even after everything that happened, you never fell into despair. When I saw you performing again - at a tiny livehouse gig at that - there wasn’t a hint of shadow on your face. You just kept going. You just kept shining brighter than before.”

“Meanwhile…” A humorless smile appears on Haruka’s face. “All I focused on were the negative feelings. I let them eat me up. Turn me into a horrible person.” He ducks his head, his hand nearly crushing the apple slice. “Maybe Kujou saw through me from the very beginning. Saw my selfishness. Saw my twistedness.”

Saw his envy, that he allowed to shape him as a person.

They descend into silence again. Maybe it’s the fever that’s finally catching up to him again, but Haruka suddenly feels very tired. These feelings of his...they drain him as much as they liberate him. To fully come to terms with them means putting himself in a situation where he allows himself to be vulnerable, and after everything he’s been through, Haruka isn’t sure he’s ready for such a thing yet.

He’s not sure if he’ll be brave enough for it.

He doesn’t realize that he’s still holding onto the apple slice until he feels something unfurling his fingers and taking the slice from his hand before unceremoniously pushes it in between his lips. He makes a bewildered sound and could only stare in surprise when he sees Tenn lean back against his seat, his hand raised and fingers slightly damp from holding the apple slice.

“You should eat that before you crush it into juice,” Tenn says a little exasperatedly, “How long were you planning to hold onto it?”

Haruka makes a small sound of protest but dutifully chews on the fruit in his mouth. Tenn watches in satisfaction when Haruka swallows it, before he hands Haruka a wet tissue for him to clean his hand and mouth with.

“Honestly, you’re like a child through and through.”

Haruka bristles at Tenn’s words. “S-shut up!”

“Nope, not going to. It’s true, after all. You’re a child.”

“You’re only a year older than me though?!”

Tenn’s smile softens at the edges. “That’s true...but somehow I feel like that age gap feels a lot bigger. Between me and you. Between me...and Riku. Both of you are childish and wear your emotions at your sleeves. Reckless and don’t think things through.”

“Hey -,”

“Both of you are incredibly earnest, too,” Tenn finishes, effectively causing Haruka to quiet down, “If there is anyone who should be envious of someone, it should be me towards you.”

“...Kujou.”

“It’s natural to feel some sort of resentment, especially with what you have gone through,” Tenn continues, “It’s human, and it shows that at the very least, you’re in touch with your own feelings. And besides…” Tenn’s tone turns a little subdued when he speaks again. “You may think I shine brightly - that I don’t have a shadow of doubt or negativity on me. But Isumi Haruka, I’m not entirely spotless.”

Tenn lets out a small quiet breath.

“I hurt Riku. When I left him to go with Kujou-san, I knew that I would hurt him, but I did it anyway. I had my reasons...and it was for Riku’s sake, but at the end of the day, it didn’t change the fact that Riku grew up thinking I abandoned him.” Tenn’s expression wavers. “Abandoned him to become an idol of all things.”

“You didn’t tell him why you did it?”

“I didn’t want him to feel guilty. That’s the last thing I wanted. But then again.” Tenn chuckles bitterly. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He found out by himself, and to be honest, that’s worse than him finding out from me. I fancied myself a rational person, but clearly, at that moment, I wasn’t thinking clearly. By the time I did, I’m too far down the road.”

Haruka looks at the boy in front of him, taking in his subdued expression and the soft curve of his smile. He sees the plate of the rabbit-eared apple slices - the ones he had prepared with so much care, like he does with everything and everyone else he views important. 

There is that familiar feeling blooming in his chest again.

Kujou Tenn. The kind of person that Haruka -

“Why are you telling me this?” Haruka hears himself say.

“Who knows? Maybe I just wanted to try being honest with my feelings too.” Tenn looks at Haruka, the crinkle in the corners of his eyes softening his expression. “Or maybe I just want to tell you that being selfish and...wanting things for yourself aren’t necessarily a bad thing. You shouldn’t fault yourself for wanting something you worked hard for and deserve. And if you hurt people in the process…” Tenn shrugs, “You apologize and reflect and not do it again. And you’re doing a good job so far doing all that.”

“If you want my opinion,” Tenn continues, “You’ve become someone you can be proud of. You’re not a disappointment, Haruka. You don’t need Kujou-san’s validation to know that.” He smiles. “And if you want it still, I’ll try my best to drag him here and say those words to you as sincerely as he can.”

Haruka blinks. 

Once.

Twice.

He might be imagining it. He has to be. Is Kujou Tenn...comforting him?

A breathless laughter escapes his lips before he could stop it and he shakes his head. “Idiot. That would be meaningless.” When he smiles at Tenn, it’s more sincere than ever before. “Thank you...for saying that.”

“For offering to drag Kujou-san here?” Tenn asks playfully.

“For saying that I’m someone I should be proud of,” Haruka answers, “That...that means a lot.”

Tenn returns his smile. “I don’t say things for lip service, Isumi Haruka. Know that I mean every word.”

“I know,” Haruka says quietly, “I don’t doubt that. And about Kujou.” He smirks. “One day, I’ll get him to come to me and say those words himself.”

Tenn lets out a short burst of laughter.

“That’s the spirit, Isumi Haruka.”

Tenn ends up staying for another half an hour. He doesn’t do much. He cuts more fruits, bickers with Haruka and presses a cool hand against Haruka’s forehead every now and then. By the third time Tenn does the last one, Haruka finds himself leaning into the touch - though he pulls away before Tenn could really notice.

Haruka is toeing the line and he’s careful not to cross anything he shouldn’t. Having Tenn here with him, keeping him company and talking to him normally and perhaps with a hint of fondness -

It’s something Haruka decides he wants to treasure for as long as he can. 

By the time the short hand on the wall clock reaches the number four and the second hand continues its clean circle, Haruka’s gaze lifts and follows Tenn instinctively when the boy rises from his seat, taking his small bag with him. Tenn adjusts back his face mask and slips on his spectacles before turning back to Haruka.

“I should probably go. You need your rest and your ‘big brothers’ will probably visit you soon.”

“You can stay,” Haruka blurts out, his cheeks reddening when he realizes what he says. He averts his gaze, failing to hide the embarrassment in his tone when he speaks again. “I-it’s not like they would mind, anyway.”

He hears a soft chuckle, turning to look at Tenn once more.

“Thank you for the offer, but I shouldn’t intrude. Again, I should probably let you rest in the meantime.” Tenn gives him a crooked smile. “ZOOL is a rowdy bunch, after all.”

“I wouldn’t trade them for the world,” Haruka says, nearly surprising himself at how passionate he sounds.

Tenn’s expression turns tender. “Mm. I’m glad you found something you consider precious then.”

As Tenn turns around to leave, Haruka’s hand lifts and reaches out towards him. He clutches into empty air, closing his fingers around the space that exists between him and Tenn’s retreating back. Tenn’s back seems so slight, but has so much strength that Haruka couldn’t help but to admire. 

The door has clicked close by the time Haruka allows himself to voice his thoughts out loud this time.

“Kujou Tenn, I...You shine so brightly and I…

_I wish I can not only catch up to that light, but someday, be allowed to bask in its warmth._

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments/bookmarks are appreciated and you can find me on Twitter at @tennssi0907 !


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